Have you ever been in a position where you have to tolerate the presence of people you don’t like, or people who disrespect you, or people who constantly hurt you and put you down? What do you do about it? Most people I know tolerate it because they don’t know how to deal with it or because they feel like they don’t have a choice. Perhaps because those people are family. Or because those people are colleagues they can’t avoid.
It was when I was reading Jack Canfield’s “Success Principles” that I realised that we always have a choice. We don’t have to tolerate people disrespecting us, or taking us for granted, or people who belittle and hurt us. Sometimes we are also at fault when people treat us badly, for example, if we don’t say anything when people treat us with disrespect, in a way, we’re giving them permission to continue to treat us that way.
Often, those people become a toxic element in our life. We feel like we have to put up with them even though we feel miserable and unhappy. We resent the situation but we couldn’t bring ourselves to walk away from them.
The truth is we don’t have to put up with people treating us badly. If talking to them or trying to reason with them doesn’t work, then we can always make a choice to walk away. Why let toxic people and toxic situation poison us slowly… emotionally and mentally?
Unfortunately, I know what it’s like to be around people like that. I put up with it for years because I didn’t think I had a choice. I felt like I had to. It got to a point when it became very hurtful and painful. I finally decided to walk away because I reckon why hang around people who didn’t want me and didn’t need me in the first place. I grew tired of trying to please them and trying to gain their approval when nothing I did was good enough. More importantly, the look of disapproval in her eyes had become very hurtful.
I walked away not because I hate them. I walked away because I needed time and space to heal myself. I walked away because I wanted to stop feeling like I was defective. Most importantly, I walked away because I needed to learn to accept and love myself. When I made that decision, I actually started to feel happy.